It is very well known that I am bossy (aka a leader) and a control freak. I have written multiple blog posts about my need to hand over my life's plan to God and realize that it is really His. Yet, for some reason, I just can't seem to do that. I want for things in my life to happen when I want them to happen. To say that I haven't planned out when I will get married by and when I will start having children, would be a lie. While I have planned out my entire life, God repeatedly throws a wrench in my plans and changes them.

Today at church we held an event for the children of Myrtle Beach who are less fortunate and I had the honor of helping. I, along with one other lady, went and picked up two children from their home. The girl and boy were twins and they lived in a horrible part of town. It is a part of town that I would normally not go near. However, I braved this part of town to make this wonderful opportunity available to these children. We took the children to Johnny Rocket's where they could order anything off of the menu. They choose a candy milkshake and hamburgers. The children were given gifts by the youth of the church and they were told the Christmas story.

A while back I attended a meeting at college where two athletic trainers came and talked about their place of work. Both of them worked in local low income high schools. The spoke about the way their schools ran and the lack funding for their programs. In the midst of all of that, one of the athletic trainers spoke about the impact that he had on one of his athletes. In that moment, I realized that I wanted to work not only in a high school but one that is low income.

I tell you these things because I am going to talk about God's plan again. Normally when we hold the function for the children I get really sad after. It really upsets me that they aren't given the blessings that I have. I sometimes struggle, like today, with wondering why they receive the "short end of the stick" and I am given so many things. I asked the kids were they excited for Christmas, and they said, "We get two books." That pulled at my heartstrings. They get two books and I can get mad because I won't get the colored iPhone that I wanted. How could I be so ungrateful and so selfish?

I honestly believe that God stepped in today. He placed these children in my life for a reason. Today might have made the biggest impact on their lives. They got to see the love of Christ through the gifts of the church, but how they have impacted my life. Today has solidified what I think is God's plan for my life. God is a wonderful god that continues to give me blessings and these children were my blessing today. I am asking for prayers as I continue on this journey of life and seeing where it takes me!

Remain as You Are

"Now about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his kindness has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain as you are."- 1 Corinthians 7:25-26

College is so hard. Let me repeat that, college is so hard. I was warned, but I have to say I didn't believe it. I now have a life where I'm still told what to do, but it doesn't mean that I have to do it. If I want to skip class, there aren't repercussions for not doing so. Let me rephrase that, there are repercussions coming from home because the parents don't like me missing class. (Which, by the way, has only happened once.) If I get a bad grade, there aren't repercussions. (Same as before, there are repercussions.) You get the point of what I am saying. I struggle with procrastination. I have struggled with procrastination since kindergarten. I love to put stuff off and it caught up with me last week...

I have never been more stressed than last week. I had a test and project due on Friday and a function on the Thursday before. I know what you're thinking, I shouldn't go to the function because school comes first. Up until the Wednesday before the function, I thought that my project was perfectly fine. It was a group project and we had many meetings about the parts that everyone had to do. I was in the middle of study hours when I thought to myself, Check the powerpoint so you know what to say. So I checked it. It was the same exact thing that I looked at two weeks prior when I had uploaded my portion of the project. No one in my group had done their part and this project had to be 15 minutes long. I emailed the other girl in my group who had established herself as a leader and told her that I thought that then powerpoint was sub-par and that I had added 14 slides of information to it and there was still much more that had to be done. 

At this point I thought that it was too late to cancel and it would look bad on me to not go to the function. I reasoned that I would stay for an hour maybe two. I ended up trying to leave the function at 10, so I would be home by 10:30 and study until 12 and then get a good night sleep. God had a different plan in mind and I have to say that that night was one of the worst nights that I have had since getting to college. I didn't end up getting home until 11 after having a minor claustrophobia moment while trying to leave. 

Now that you see how stressful (not to everyone, but to me) my last week was, I want to talk about what I wanted to write this blog post really about. Since getting to college, I have seen many couples and two of my friends are in a relationship. There are times where I have thought that I wanted to be in a relationship, but then I realize that I honestly couldn't handle it at this point in my life. Being in a relationship is a lot of work, and I praise my friends for being able to carry on their studies and also to make sure their relationship is healthy. I think that if I was in a relationship at this point in my life, I wouldn't be able to be as good of a friend to my friends, my grades would be in shambles, and my hair would be turning gray. 

Now was this my plan in coming to college? HECK NO!!!! I wanted to come to college and meet the love of my life immediately and be able to say that I met my husband my first week in college. Who's to say that I wouldn't be planning my wedding and naming my nonexistent children? There is nothing to say that I wouldn't be rushing into something because I thought I had my life planned out. 

BUT I CAN'T SEE MYSELF DOING THAT ANYMORE! How awesome is that?!? That God's plan for our lives come through even when we can't see it. MY plan was completely different than GOD'S plan for my life. Paul is completely right, being in a relationship would take away from the praise that I could be giving to God. I would be turning my back on God and making someone else my idol. Because of making someone else my idol, I would also be missing out on all the great opportunities I've had since being here, such as making great friends and having weekends full of craft shows, shopping, and dinners full of laughter. An I am so thankful for those!! 

P.s. check the photo page periodically for updates on my life when I can't write!