Giving Grace

In my first staff meeting, on my first day of my first school year as an athletic trainer, my principal had all of the staff pick a word that would represent our year. We would turn to it when we struggled, or were feeling down. We would use it with our students and coworkers to help better those around us. While others were choosing words such as strength, perseverance, and passion, I chose grace. Here's why.

All of my life I have held those around me and myself to high standards. I would always want to be the best at everything that I do and would not surround myself with other who did not feel the same. When things didn't go as planned or I failed to do what I thought I should be able to accomplish, I would beat myself up about it. I would feel like a failure. This is something that I struggle with now.

I have been in athletic training since I was a freshman in high school as an athletic training student aide. I finally felt like this is something that I could do without failure. I could be the best athletic trainer ever and never mess up. But I was wrong. I seem to fail everyday, or at least it feels like I do. I place 7,000 phone calls and 10,000 text messages to the other athletic trainers in my district everyday because I constantly second guess myself and my judgement. My friends get calls from me all the time because I can't think of the right word to type on my paperwork. I never know if I'm making the right call on a diagnosis. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. And I put that on myself.

So I think I need a little grace. For myself. For my students. For my coworkers. God give us grace everyday when we fail him. Grace is what he doesn't give us what we do deserve. Grace is what I need to give myself when I feel like I am failing. Grace is what I need to give my students when they choose to go against what I tell them. Grace is what I need to give when a coach doesn't communicate with me. Grace is what I need.