I don't know how actual adults do it. How do they juggle work, home life, and a social life? I have loads of laundry at home, piles of paperwork at work, and friends that I want to see. I haven't managed to figure out a way to balance it all. Just when I think that I have one aspect of my life handled, something else goes haywire. So I've started to look for ways to cope with the stresses of my life and here's what I've learned so far.

1. It is OK to ask for help. 

I HATE asking for help and honestly that is probably my biggest demise. I like showing the world that I am independent and can do things my self. However, we know that we are supposed to be able to rely on each other to make it through life. So I've started to ask for help with the things that I struggle with at both home and work. So much of my work life last year was me trying to do things by my self because I wanted to prove to my coworkers that just because I was a first year athletic trainer didn't mean that I wasn't capable of doing my job. Honestly, I became really burnt out by the time Spring sports rolled around, but that will change this year. I've already started asking for help with minor things that other people could help me do. 

2. Taking a break is good. 

But also don't take too long of a break. I love my house being spotless, and I love my work being done, but is that worth sacrificing my mental health to have it all done in one day? No! I used to do this in college with studying. If I got through with 10 questions I would take a 5 minute mental break, and I've started doing that with my barely adult life. I'll deep clean one room of my house and then take a 5 minute walk or phone break and start again. Or if I'm at work, I'll write 5 SOAP notes and then go to the front office to check my mailbox. 

3. Don't be so hard on yourself. 

If things don't get done in a certain way or you fail with getting everything done that you had planned, don't be hard on yourself. So much of my life is planning and staying on top of things, and I often fail miserably at that. I used (and still am) to be very hard on my self when I didn't do what I thought I was capable of. That goes for juggling life too. If I over sleep and don't go to the gym, or if I really wanted to get through 3 loads of laundry and cook enough dinner to be able to pack a lunch tomorrow and don't accomplish that, I just have to adapt and change and do what I can. We can't punish ourselves for being human. There isn't much more we can do than that. 

You're my Best Friend

Have you ever had a man hype you up, when you can't breathe out of your nose and you feel like your head is going to explode from the pressure? Ever had a man build the most random things for you to fulfill your wildest athletic training dreams? Ever had a man be your best friend and someone you can share anything with? If not, let me tell you how awesome it is.

A little over 8 months ago I met the man of my dreams and I wasn't even looking for him. I was at a time in my life where I wasn't looking for a relationship, I was looking for a distraction. I would aimlessly swipe left and right, never looking for anything serious. I was praying that the right man would either fall into my lap or walk across the threshold of my house. Hurrication hit and I had a lot more time on my hands. I stumbled upon Ryan and swiped right the night before his birthday. We hit it off over chat and I gave him my number. The next day he invited me to come to his birthday party. I went and in person we were 10,000 times better.

Over the next couple of days, we set up an official first date. He talked to my sister about my favorite food and restaurants. One the day of our first date, he came to the door, in a suit, with flowers, and met my mom. He walked across my threshold. He walked across my threshold. And the next 8 months have been blissful.

I am writing this to give every girl out there a kick in the pants, that it isn't your timing it is God's timing. I've written a lot about how I needed to trust God's timing, but it never seemed to click in my head. A door closed is another door opened. I never thought I would find someone who loved me or thought I was beautiful. I never thought that I would find someone who cared about me, but I did. Ryan is my best friend and one of my favorite people. I can be my full weird and quirky self. God has blessed me with the most amazing man. So I implore you to stay faithful in your prayers, because a no now will be a yes in the future!

Giving Grace

In my first staff meeting, on my first day of my first school year as an athletic trainer, my principal had all of the staff pick a word that would represent our year. We would turn to it when we struggled, or were feeling down. We would use it with our students and coworkers to help better those around us. While others were choosing words such as strength, perseverance, and passion, I chose grace. Here's why.

All of my life I have held those around me and myself to high standards. I would always want to be the best at everything that I do and would not surround myself with other who did not feel the same. When things didn't go as planned or I failed to do what I thought I should be able to accomplish, I would beat myself up about it. I would feel like a failure. This is something that I struggle with now.

I have been in athletic training since I was a freshman in high school as an athletic training student aide. I finally felt like this is something that I could do without failure. I could be the best athletic trainer ever and never mess up. But I was wrong. I seem to fail everyday, or at least it feels like I do. I place 7,000 phone calls and 10,000 text messages to the other athletic trainers in my district everyday because I constantly second guess myself and my judgement. My friends get calls from me all the time because I can't think of the right word to type on my paperwork. I never know if I'm making the right call on a diagnosis. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. And I put that on myself.

So I think I need a little grace. For myself. For my students. For my coworkers. God give us grace everyday when we fail him. Grace is what he doesn't give us what we do deserve. Grace is what I need to give myself when I feel like I am failing. Grace is what I need to give my students when they choose to go against what I tell them. Grace is what I need to give when a coach doesn't communicate with me. Grace is what I need.

New Seasons

I know that I always do this. I say, "I know I haven't posted in a while, but I'm really going to get back into it." And then I never do. Life gets ahead of me and I never have time. School would get hard, my social life would get busy, and the time that I found to myself would be dedicated to naps and watching TV. I also wasn't involved in my Christian faith. I would go to church every now and then but it wasn't an every Sunday type of thing. And I sure as heck didn't practice my Christian faith throughout the week. But that was the last season of my life. I'm in a new season now. 

If you don't know, or haven't been on keeping tabs on my social media life, I graduated college in May, came home and got a big girl job! I'm living with my mom and spending a lot of time with my family catching up on the last four years that I lost. I stay in touch with my awesome college friends who are doing awesome things with their lives! I'm picking up my friendship with my Mads on our Target and Michaels dates. I am really blessed to be able to come home and pick up things, but I can't help but feel unfulfilled and it has to do with my relationship with Christ. 

When I was in college, I didn't go to church that often. Whenever I could get up on Sunday I went, but that was few and far between. So I'm making a promise to myself to attend church as much as possible! I am also making time to pray for myself, my friends, the world and everything in between. I'm putting prayer request boxes up on my Instagram story so that my followers can add things that they need prayed for, even if it is an unspoken request. I am also watching sermons from other pastors around the country and attempting to learn more about what God wants from my life.

So if you're looking to attend church more but don't want to go alone, go with me! If you're looking to make a new friend who is just trying to get through this new season of life, message me! If you need someone to talk to, call me! I'm just like you. I'm trying to navigate this new season of my life, just like you. 

His Love Runs Deeper

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Matthew 6:26

I am currently sitting on my couch eating lasagna that my mom made me for times when I would feel like this. Lately, especially today, I have been feeling worthless, like a loser, and in a valley. When I came home from school last semester, for the summer, I was really depressed. I had gone through a lot in my personal life and didn't have time to breathe during the semester. So when I got home, my world crashed around me into tiny little pieces. I had gained twenty pounds in a three month time span and could feel its effects on my body. All I wanted to do was sleep. I didn't want to go to work, I didn't want to be around my family, and I sure didn't want to talk to any of my friends. My thoughts went to the deep dark corners of my mind that no one ever wants to talk about. My mom became worried and we sought professional help. I went and talked with a councilor who would just let me talk and would listen to what I had to say. He would tell me at the end of our meetings that I am awesome and that I need to believe that I am. However, that was something hard for me to accept. How can I be awesome when my friends didn't want to be friends with me? How could I be awesome when I was pushing my family away from me? Eventually, I came to realize that I had to change the way that I saw myself or I was never going to get better. So I did.

However, fast forward to today. Those feeling of worthlessness and being stupid and a loser have crept back into my mind. Today was a day of disappointment and sadness as I found out that I don't have the grades to potentially do what I want with my life. I'm struggling with feeling like I am smart enough and good enough. Any class, other than my athletic training classes, are a complete struggle. I can't seem to grasp concepts that my peers can and it is frustrating.

Yet, God's plans are always different than our own, yet we continue to make our own. When our plans don't go the way that we want them to, it is easy for us to get disappointed. That is what I am feeling. However, God's plan is better for me than my plan is. That doesn't mean that I am worthless. God made me to be like him. He put a brain in my head that is smart. He gave me two arms to hug those around me when they are down. He gave me two legs that have carried me very far in twenty years. I have to love these things that God has given me, because they are a gift from Him. He didn't make me to be worthless, He made me to be great. He's closing a door on my life, but I fully believe that He is opening a window that will let in a whole lot of light in a time where I need it. God is faithful and He doesn't desert His children, and He won't desert me. 

In Their Hearts

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9

Well... I graduate in less than four months. Not a clue where I'm going or what I'm doing to do after I graduate. For me, this is strange. For the past seven years of my life, I have known exactly where I was going and that I was going to be the best athletic trainer that I could be. I only applied to South Carolina. I only took the SAT once. I knew that I was destined to be a Gamecock! I couldn't wait to be a Gamecock! Now as I prepare to take my certification exam, finish up classes, and walk across the stage in Colonial Life, I have no clue what I am going to do! The minute that I think that I have a plan, God laughs and says he has a different plan.

It is so hard to go with God's plan. It is so hard to listen to the voice telling you that it isn't your timing but His timing. It is so hard to look around you and see people who seem to have their lives together, and to look inward and feel like your life is falling apart. I would love to be one of those girls who wakes up in the morning looking gorgeous. I would love to be one of those girls who doesn't let her wet laundry sit in the washing machine too long so that her clothes don't smell worse than when she put them in. I would love to be one of those girls who never says a curse word and can smile through anything and everything that is put in front of her...

...But I'm not that girl...

I get so caught up in the perceived perfectness that people put on the internet, that I don't remember that there are actual imperfect lives behind the screen. They are people who fall short of the glory of God everyday, just like me. They struggle with self-love and happiness just like I do. Social media can be both a blessing and a curse. A recent example of this happened tonight. I was scrolling through Facebook and saw engagement pictures of friends of mine. They were perfect pictures. She looked beautiful and her fiancé was looking at her adoringly. Immediately, I went to, "Why can't that be me?" Instead of, "Wow, I am so happy for them!" and "One day God is going to bless me with that!" Why is it that when looking at other's we fail to see the goodness in us? Why is it that when other people are happy, we can't just be happy for them? We have to constantly compare ourselves with them and see the things we don't have versus the things we do. 

I may not have an engagement ring on my finger. I may not have the clearest skin, and I feel like these braces have been on my teeth forever. I may not have a plan after I graduate and it may feel like the world around me is crumbling, but what I do have is an awesome support system to build me up everyday when the world around me wants to tear me down. I have an awesome God who has great plans for me even when it doesn't seem like He listens. (But He does.) Sometimes, I just need a good kick in the pants and a reminder that I'm BLESSED! (And so are you!) If you're struggling with feeling like your life isn't adding up, remember God loves you and has a plan for you! I know I need the reminder! 

Read: Ecclesiastes 3

             Lamentations 3

Listen: Greater by Mercy Me

               This by Darius Rucker

New Year, Better Me

Sing to the LORD a new song, for he has done marvelous things; his right hand and his holy arm have worked salvation for him.- Psalm 98:1

Let me tell you something! 2017 is going to be MY year! 2016 brought a lot of change in my life. I lost two really good friends (one I wish I had back) and gained three more (shoutout!). I moved two times (not including coming home during the summer). I went from a below Dean's list student, to an above Dean's list student. I worked my butt off! I can't wait to take 2017 head on and make it better than 2016! 

Additionally, in 2016 I gained A LOT of weight. I attribute poor eating habits and stress to my weight gain. However, throughout 2016 I was also sick. It initially started with red meat. I would eat red meat and then become sick after. However, it developed into everything I ate and I would be sick at least once a day. I came to the point where I couldn't take it any more.

I recently went to see a PA who referred me to a Gastroenterologist who would diagnose me with Irritable Bowel Syndrome- D (IBS). She basically told me that stress along with bad habits causes my stomach to become hypersensitive, which causes me to become sick. She told me that I have to change my life around, or nothing will ever change.  

So enter in my new life changes. I know that most people who make New Years resolutions don't keep them. This change comes in to my life right at that point. My doctor (aka the coolest gastro doctor out there) told me to take a probiotic and to change my diet. So, that is what I am doing. I am currently on the FODMAP diet. This means that I am now almost gluten-free (I can have sourdough) and almost lactose-free (I can have cheese). I'm limited in the fruits and vegetables that I can eat and the liquids that I can drink. But, that doesn't mean that I have to give up everything. I think that this is going to be a great change in my life because it is going to help teach me about the foods that I can eat, and how I can better help my body be the best it can be. 

I often wonder how I let myself get to the point that I am at. I used to think that I was so overweight. I would stare at myself in the mirror and think that I needed to lose weight. Then I stopped caring. I didn't care what people would think. I wouldn't care what I would think. I ate to make myself feel better, not to nourish my body. My body is a temple to the Lord, but I sure didn't treat it that way. When I was younger, I wouldn't get my belly button pierced because it wasn't something that would bring God glory via my temple. Now I have a wake up call. I HAVE change. I have to put good things into my body, and I can get good things out. What you put in your body today, you get out of it tomorrow.

I will get my illness under control. I will lose weight. I will take this opportunity to better myself!

If you have any gluten free recipes that you want to share, message me! I would love to know them! I will also be posting my recipes that I have for low FODMAP foods that are both healthy and yummy! 

Tired

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

I cannot tell you how excited I am for Thanksgiving break. I honestly think that if given the opportunity I could sleep for a whole 24 hours straight. This morning I had an exam at six o'clock in the morning. I walked out of my exam feeling like the world was crumbling around me. I knew that I didn't do good and it really made me question my ability as an athletic trainer. I am so stressed about school and life in general. I am supposed to be at the end of the tunnel with this semester but it feels like at the end there is a brick wall that I will run into. I struggle getting up in the morning and look forward to going back to sleep, because where there is sleep, there is no stress. Between class, clinical, cleaning the house, giving up bread and pasta, and trying to balance my life in general, I feel like everything is going to fall around me. They say that this is the hardest semester in the athletic training major, and I am starting to believe them. 

I understand why college students, like myself, are stressed. One bad grade can ruin every chance you have at following your dream. Grad schools don't want students with Cs, they want students with Bs and As. And heaven forbid you don't have any extracurriculars, such as clubs and community service. Furthermore, if you don't have a full ride you have to have a job on top of all school things. (A little shout out to David. He works two jobs, goes to school, and coaches little league. I don't know how he does it!) I have to eat healthy because I don't want to gain weight. And luckily for me, I walk to my classes so that is how I get my exercise. 

I talked in the last blog about how I haven't felt like I was worthy. Let me tell you, I'm not. I fall short of the glory of God every day. I fail Him. I let Him down. But luckily for me, God is a great God. He loves me despite my flaws. His plan for my life is bigger than my own plan. He has blessed me immensely. I get to receive a great education that will further me in my life plans. He gave me the best parents a girl could ask for. I get to be the big sister to three amazing girls who never let me have a dull moment. I have awesome friends who understand how demanding athletic training is and can sympathize with me. I need to start remembering all that God has blessed me with and not be so stressed out because He holds me and He guides me and He is AWESOME!!!

If you're feeling stressed like me, here are some fun things to try to do to relieve that stress! 

Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."- Colossians 3:17

I have always been one who loves credit. I love for people to see my accomplishments and congratulate me on them.  The only reason that I will put a lot of work into things is to receive the praise. However, recently while in class I watched a Ted Talk video on Youtube. The speaker in this video was Julie Taymor. She talked about a time when she was younger. She was in an exotic place among the locals there. She said that she was sitting underneath a tree in the dead of night, when the aboriginals came out and danced. They didn't dance for others, they didn't put on the costumes so others could see, they did for God. That got me thinking! 

Like I said, I always do things for the credit. I study so I can make good grades so my parents can tell me how good I did and how hard I worked. I'll do my hair a certain way just to make sure that someone says that it looks pretty. If David and I make dinner and he cooks the meat, I'll make sure that I get credit for the rest of it. But how screwed up is that? 

I shouldn't be getting credit for any of it. I don't do it just because I want to, I do it to make myself feel better. What does that say about me? The credit shouldn't be going to me, it should be going to God. I shouldn't feel the need to point out the good things that I've done because I shouldn't feel the need to be reassured by people here on earth. God is the only reassurance I need. The good things that I do should be offered up to God, for His glory, not for mine. 

God is responsible for everything that I am. He made me in His image with His likeness, yet for some reason I want to take the credit. So, from now on, I am going to try to work not for my glory but for His. So that everyone can see God radiating out of me, rather than me radiating out of me. 

If you would like to watch the video:

https://www.ted.com/talks/julie_taymor_spider_man_the_lion_king_and_life_on_the_creative_edge?language=en

Being the Hands and Feet

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. -Matthew 7:12  

Hello world!! That's right!! I'm back after a prolonged "vacation" from writing! Let's just say that it has been one loooonnnnggg semester and I am looking forward to the Christmas vacation that is just days away. Today's blog isn't going to be about me. However, it is going to be about someone who is near and dear to my heart. One might call her my flesh and blood. It's going to be about my mom! (She doesn't know I'm writing this!!)

My mom is my hero. She is someone who I look up to everyday and I strive my hardest to be just like her. She is selfless. She is caring. She is loving. She is the best. My mom has worked hard her entire life to get to be the successful woman that she is today and she teaches me important lessons on how to be successful just like her.

There is one particular story about my mom that I want to tell the world. On Thanksgiving Day, my mom was the hands and feet of Jesus. We have a neighbor who, during the week, fell and had to go to the hospital to surgery the day before Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving morning, my mom saw my neighbor's wife who had told her about the injury. Immediately my mom told my neighbor not to worry about Thanksgiving dinner, that we had enough food and would bring them over some after her husband got discharged.

I have to admit, the thought to bring them food would not have crossed my mind. I crossed my mom's mind immediately. Right then and there my mom became the hands and feet of Jesus. She went to the Dollar Store and got containers for the food. She made sure that the food was warm as soon as they came home so they could eat it. She walked the food over to our neighbors and made sure that they were alright. That is exactly what Jesus wants us to do.

She could have hogged the turkey, dressing, and delicious coconut cake. Instead she made sure that they enjoyed the holiday as much as we did. Jesus tells us in Mark 12, that we should first love God with all of our being, and we should secondly love our neighbors as we love ourselves. He also says in John 15 that we should love others as He loved us.

I am so proud to be my mother's daughter. There may be sometimes when I take her for granted or talk back, but to be able to see her be the salt and light of the earth. Thank you Mom for being you. I love you most!!

The Pressure to be Perfect

"You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matthew 5:48

As I spend my last night in my childhood home for a while, I am reflecting on the past three months of summer and also looking forward at what the first semester of my sophomore year will bring. This summer brought along stress and times when I wanted to pull my hair out and I'm sure that this new semester will bring the same. The girls who worked for me would tell you that I strive for perfection  and when I don't get it I get angry. That is what this long, overdue blog post will be about.

I am the perfect candidate for a study on people who have Type A personalities. I am constantly stressed and am looking for ways to push myself to work harder. When I don't reach a goal in a set amount of time, I become angry and disappointed with myself. I strive to lead others around me in anything that I do. This isn't something new for me. Ever since I was young, I have always worked my hardest to get good grades and stay involved in various things, be it sports or extracurricular clubs. In high school I was involved in sports, BETA club, National Honors Society, HOSA, student government, and sports medicine.

I am not one to ask for help. I am the one who seeks out people who need help and proceed to give it to them. In first grade there was a boy who suffered from autism. Our class went on a field trip and I was right there next to him the entire time to help him and hold his hand. Getting tutoring my first semester of freshman year was a huge blow to my ego and pride. More recently I got the hotel wrong that I was supposed to go to and ended up blowing up at my mom because I wanted to cover my own mistake.

I am learning that I am not perfect and that it is ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. There was only one perfect person to walk the earth, and there is no way that I could ever reach that level of perfectness. God's love is unconditional. It knows no boundaries and breaks down walls that people have built up. I can mess up directions or make a bad grade, but God will still love me. He doesn't care that I'm not perfect because I was made like him.

So, in reflection of this summer, I am going to learn from my mistakes of blowing up on people when things weren't perfect or if I didn't do something right. And in contemplation of the upcoming school year, I am not going to be so hard on myself. That doesn't mean that I am not going to work hard at what I am doing to be the best, it just means that if things don't work out 100% like I want them to, I'm not going to tear myself down. 

Forever to Thee

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

As I walk through campus today everything and everyone seems to be dealing with yesterday's tragedy.  People are talking about the calls and the text messages that were recieved. They are talking about the random numbers that called their parents to make sure that they were ok. People were talking about the shock of receiving a text message that declared there was a shooting on campus. It was said a lot yesterday that someone never expects something like this to happen to them or to happen on their campus. It wasn't something that I imagined. I've dealt with many bomb threats and with many shootings but nothing scared me quite like this did. It wasn't that I was afraid for my life, it was being afraid for the lives of my fellow Gamecocks. I was very fortunate that I was on the other side of campus but it was still equally as scary. We received multiple reports/rumors of various things that were going on. 

People's lives will forever be affected by what went on Thursday. We will forever remember where we were or the multiple text messages we received. We will remember hugging our friends when we finally returned home and hugging our friends who were in the building when it happened. We will remember calling our parents to tell them we were alive and well. We will remember the comfort of hearing a familiar voice telling us that we were loved. We will remember the legacy that one of our professors left behind and we will remember how we came together. The student body became a family last night and so did the state. Clemson students were willing to wear their rival's colors to support the Gamecocks. 

God doesn't allow something horrible to happen withhold something good to come from it. God is our shield who will protect us and He protected us yesterday. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil." God was with us yesterday and continues to be with us as we deal with the aftermath. God is an all powerful God that will restore us and strengthen us and help us become whole again. I truly and firmly believe that. 

I have never been more proud to call myself a Gamecock and a South Carolinian. It is such a great honor to be able to call this place my home. With that being said, please continue prayers for everyone on campus and the families of those who are deceased. This will be a long healing process but we will overcome and be stronger because of it. 

Here's a health, Carolina. FOREVER TO THEE! 

Undeserving

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.- John 3:16

So, I have had the worst two weeks. I wrote last week about how I got into an accident and also fell in the mud while exploring nature. This week I hit my best friend in the face with a racquetball and forgot my favorite water bottle in my English class which made me late for my Care and Prevention of Injuries class. I've cried a lot these past weeks and my stress levels have far exceeded any possible limit I thought they could. I'm sure that I will be prematurely gray and will have wrinkles in my twenties. There were so many times where I just wanted to crawl up into a ball and not leave my dorm room.

I've sat here the last two weeks and felt sorry about myself, wondering why something like this would happen to me. I didn't deserve getting into a wreck. I didn't deserve falling in the mud. Erin didn't deserve me hitting her in the face with a high speed racquetball. I might not have deserved all of that but I didn't deserve the love I got either. I didn't deserve the texts from ladies from church telling me that they were thinking about me. I didn't deserve my parents love, encouragement, and wisdom when I thought the world around me was burning. I didn't deserve the message from my uncle telling me that my little cousin was bragging about me to one of her friends tonight.

How does someone like me deserve the love and support of all of these people when I sat here and only felt sorry for myself? How do I deserve the love of God when I struggled to believe that He loved me the past two weeks? There is a saying that goes, "I can't brag about my love for God because I fail Him daily, but I can brag about His love for me because it never fails." How do I forget about His amazing grace and mercy in everyone's lives? God is an amazing God who continues to baffle me because of His unfailing love for everyone and for me. I think that we all forget sometimes how much God loves us. I mean, He sent His only Son for our sins. 

If you are ever down and out (kind of like I was and a tiny bit still am) remember God's love for you. Remember the lives you've touched and all of the people who love you and look up to you. I couldn't have made it through these two weeks without the love and support of everyone. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I thank you for the continued support and prayers. I was able to drive my car home today and am at home relaxing. 

Wrecked

 He said: "In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help and You listened to my cry." Jonah 2:2

Lets recap the "wonderful" (sarcasm) week I've had this past week. I came back to Columbia and started my classes. Not too bad other than an 8:05 (which has been moved to a place closer to my dorm). On Thursday, I decided to head out to the area shopping center to see if they had some items that I needed. Upon returning, I hit 5 o'clock traffic and ultimately another car. Her car had minor damage and mine seems to be all cosmetic (PTL!!). However, it was one of the most stressful, scariest things that I have ever been apart of. Luckily, I have amazing sorority sisters and amazing best friends who came running to my rescue. My dad also has amazing friends who came to the wreck site and to look after the wreck at my car to see if I can make it down to the beach next weekend. 

On a happy note, the weather this weekend has been amazing. So, my friends and I decided that we needed to at least enjoy the wonderful weather. For me, this would have been done playing tennis, for them it was a walk down near the river. Today, we went to the river. We walked down the paths and even took some unbeaten paths. We walk down near the river and I slip and go into a split. I was wearing jeans and white Converses. Needless to say I was not a happy Campman (haha, get it? Campman, camper? Ok, its lame). 

I think that God will wreck our lives so we realize that we can't do anything ourselves. God is an almighty god who has a plan in our lives. I think it took not only me getting into a wreck, but also falling in the mud to see that. He lets us get dirty and then He cleans us off. Kind of like what Erin and Morgan did for me (after they stopped laughing). 

Singing in the Rain

May He give you the desires of your heart and make all of your plans succeed. Psalm 20:4

I write this as I am sitting at my happy place. The beach was never something that I thought that I would miss once I went off to college. I spent all summer on the beach and maybe only went once or twice for my own enjoyment. I, however, have found myself missing the aroma of the salt air and the way the waves endlessly kiss the shore. I miss this place and it makes me happy to be here. (Which is why I walked on the beach in the rain yesterday.)

While I have a great life with family and friends that support me, I don't feel like I am appreciative of what God has blessed me with. This is why my New Years resolution isn't to lose weight or eat healthier. It is to be happier. This world is full of trials and burdens that weigh us down, but it is also full of great and wonderful this that have been take for granted.I know what you are thinking. "Katy, are you my happy with the life you have now?" My answer to that would be: yes I am happy but not in the way that I want to be happy. I'm not as happy as I could be.

I am reading a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. In the book she chronicles her journey to be happier and the different aspects of her life she works on to make herself happier. While some of her subjects, such as marriage and parenthood, don't apply to me, I will still be using her happiness project as a frame and stepping stone for my own project. There is a saying that goes something like, "Everyday isn't always a good day, but there is always good in everyday." I'm hoping that I will start to realize this and ultimately live a happier life. Also, from a happier life comes a healthier life.

Along with this, I am hoping that 2015 is the year that I become a better woman of God. I also am currently reading a book called Dirty God by Johnnie Moore. The book talks about the grace of God in our lives and how Jesus came from the gold paved streets of Heaven to the trenches of the earth. Along with this, I also recently purchased a book of sorts from She Reads Truth and I am hoping that it will help me better understand the gospel of John and Jesus' life.

I think that God is using this new year and new stage of my life to become a better daughter, sister, friend and follower of Christ. Be looking for updates on the books I'm reading and the progress of my happiness project in the "Happiness Project" tab on the above tab. Don't hesitate to ask questions either! There is a place for questions and comments on the side tabs.

I am so excited to see where 2015 will take me and I am so glad to have your love and support along the way. I hope that you all had a fabulous and blessed holiday seasons and that your upcoming year will be blessed! 

Peace and blessings!